Wednesday, May 23, 2018

May Personal Update: Sick

You might have noticed that I've only been posting once a week lately instead of twice as usual.  You may have even seen that my social media has slowed to a crawl.  That's because I have been crazy ill the past several weeks.  After the baseball game I worked in April, I came down with bronchitis.  That progressed into pneumonia despite antibiotics and steroids.  I ended up on harder steroids and antibiotics and I'm still not quite over it, though I'm finally feeling at least somewhat back to normal.  Finally.  And I'm realizing just how far behind I am because of it.

I haven't posted my Beltane ritual yet.  I'm several weeks behind on that, obviously.  Partially, it's because I performed the ritual during the height of my pneumonia before new medication was prescribed and it's... pretty damn obvious if you look at the pictures.  I look like I'm in pain.  I collapsed prior to the ritual and it was about all I could do to make it through.  I went to the doctor's office the next day but there just wasn't much I could do over that weekend except weather it.

One of my circlemate's had an immediate family death over the course of all of this but I was in no shape to help.  I did my very best.  I went over there the evening before and fed her dogs while wearing a medical mask to help prevent her from catching anything.  The morning it happened, I spent the day with her, helping her arrange the cremation, secure a lawyer for probate and obtain death certificates.  After that, however, I was useless.  She asked for storage tubs and hampers and I still haven't done it.  I even missed her graduation from all of this.  Above is a photo from a night I was supposed to go over there.  I passed out mid-sentence talking to my husband minutes before I was supposed to leave.

The familiars have been trying to help but there's only so much they can give.  My husband has been trying to do what he can as well but he has a full time job and his own issues to worry about (if you remember the headaches from last round - unfortunately, the neurosurgeon has STILL not gotten back to us so we're going to have to seek someone out).

It doesn't help that my job has also been extremely hectic lately.  I pulled a four event shift the Saturday after I was diagnosed with bronchitis.  I left for a university that Friday night and didn't get home until midnight, then had to be back up the next morning at 6 am to get out the door at 7.  I didn't get home until 4 am that night and I had to work the next day as well.   I think I pulled similar weekends after Beltane and the pneumonia diagnosis as well.  It's part of the trade off.  I get spare time to lead the coven and work on the blog, with opportunities to take full days to recuperate from flares.  In exchange, I can never really call in sick and I often have to overbook my weekends to make up for it.

I ended up with food poisoning last week, which was part of the reason I couldn't go to a circlemate's college graduation.  It wasn't pleasant on top of the remnants of pneumonia.  I still have a slight cough (I've been hacking up stuff trying to write this, in fact).  I'm so tired of being sick, guys.   Nearly a month and a half.  And that's not counting any chronic illness flares.  That's just the bronchitis, pneumonia and food poisoning.

I would like to go back to the gym.  I got a membership then pretty much immediately came down sick.  I have plans to get healthy, if my body will let me.

I would like to get back to blogging.  I have a reservoir of articles for everyone but the seasonal stuff - the rituals, the altars - those can't be pre-blogged.

I would like to get back to normal.  After Beltane, all of the decorations, the folding tables, the mess, was left for weeks.  I honestly just couldn't gather enough energy to do it.  I just barely cleaned it up his past Sunday, so the house is relatively back to the way it should be now.  But only just.

So uh, yeah. I apologize for the absence but I've had little other choice.  I have to take care of me and, with the blog being a passion project, it's typically the first thing I have to put down when my health disintegrates.  Hopefully, I'll start feeling well enough to get caught up this week.  Until then, rest, water and food.  That's about all I can do.

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