Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Mini Update: The end of Merc Ret, the ebb of my depression?


I apologize for pretty much falling off the face of the earth since my last update.  It's been fairly silent on the wire across all of my social media, including Tumblr and Patreon.  I do have a history of disappearing from the interwebs when Mercury goes into retrograde.  Of course, beliefs may vary; I initially had very little interest or belief in astrology until Merc ret lined up so well with so many catastrophes.  If Merc ret gives me peace of mind, true or not true, so be it.

That being said, when I last updated, I noted very briefly that I was diagnosed with severe major depression.  Unbeknownst to me, my listlessness, exhaustion and general lack of will to do anything were symptoms of an ongoing condition likely triggered by feeling homeless and unable to control my life - a bit ironically when one of my circlemates stated that I'm probably the most adult of our circle.  If I'm the most adult, god help us.  But it illustrates that this feeling has likely been mostly in my head this entire time.

I'm happy to announce that the medication I was put on has been helping me immensely.  It's also doing a much better job than my previous medication of managing my anxiety.  I'm pretty darn ecstatic.  I've felt incredibly calm and in control for the past couple of weeks.  I've also been more apt to let my solid-steel wall down around my circle and let them know when shit has hit-eth the fan-eth instead of playing "Glorious Leader" (my so-dubbed nickname) and maintaining an in-control facade.  Their support has made this transition back to the me I remember well in 2008 and 2009 much easier.

I'm not going to update on circle, home or familiar matters with this.  That'll come at the beginning of next month like usual.  I just wanted to let you know that my silence doesn't mean things aren't going well.  It just means that it's been a transition and has taken some getting used to.

Please bear with me and give me a bit more time to adjust.  We'll return to your regularly scheduled program shortly!

6 comments:

  1. This is so exciting. I'm so happy that your doctors have found a regimen that helps you get onto a more even keel. Congrats on the healing and my best wishes in your continued path to wellness.

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    1. Thank you so much, Stephanie! I'm feeling worlds better. I have a fantastic GP who walked me through my diagnosis perfectly (I went in thinking I had something entirely different), so I certainly couldn't ask for more.

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  2. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better and I really hope everything else settles and gets better soon as well.
    When I had clinical depression it was two months before I finally admitted it and went to the doctors, after much prompting from my friends. After a week or so on the antidepressants I felt oh so much better - dried frog pills are wonderful things.

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    1. Nice Discworld reference! I'm so glad the medication is helping you, though! I usually go through a bit of Seasonal Affective from December to February but it didn't go away this year. Shortly after the basement flooded, I knew something was wrong. I actually thought it might be something entirely different, but my awesome GP walked me through everything. It was about two weeks on the pills before there was a noticeable different, and a total of two or so months before I really started feeling myself again. But it's been amazing. I wish I'd done this much sooner. Thank you so much, Vixxia!

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  3. So glad things are working out with you. I need to find someone to talk to about my depression. I've been fighting it for over 15 years with out assistance and I think it is getting to the point where I need to seek help. You are much stronger than I am or just less stubborn. Haha!

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    1. At least address it with your GP if you can. I usually deal with some Seasonal Affective from December to February, but it never left this year. Things got worse after the flood. I went in thinking I had something totally different, but my GP walked me through everything to get to the diagnosis. I honestly cried in the office out of relief (and I'm most definitely not a crier). There's certainly nothing wrong with getting on medication for an illness of any sort. I manage all of my autoimmune conditions through medication - why not the anxiety and depression as well? It's been so very worth it. I feel so much better! Good luck to you, Willow! Let me know if you decide to pursue anything!

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