Friday, January 8, 2016

2016 Relationship Goals

Aaron and I have been together for 12 years this upcoming May and married for 8 in September.  We've been through a lot together, and have always grown in the best possible way from it.  2015 was no different.  When Aaron developed a tumor, we spent some time wondering if it was cancerous. We were incredibly fortunate and relieved to find out it wasn't, but it did make my husband re-evaluate his health situation.  Moving twice, of course, also had an effect on us.  We actually handled the whole situation much better than I anticipated, as we were able to financially cover both moves and emotionally supported each other under the stress of moving twice in a year we hadn't planned to move at all.  We did a lot of culling.  We donated a futon, gave away a couch, trashed our old nightstands (which truly needed to be trashed, trust me), and more.  All of this culminated into Aaron and I being able to, for the first time in our lives, develop a sense of style in our home more than just "whatever we can find" or "whatever our friends give to us."  And it's about time too!  The reading room was, in particular, a merging of our styles.  We both chose our chairs separately.  That could have been a disaster.  Instead, I found a rug that tied them both together and a curtain that completed the room.  There's a little bit of both of us in that room, and we both love it so.

I think we also did some growing when we had to say goodbye to our long-time roommate.  Aaron and I had considered him permanent family, but he couldn't carry his weight in bills and Aaron, being the caring and generous person his is, tried to hold on for as long as he could.  Officially giving our roommate the boot profoundly effected my husband's sense of generosity, and I was terrified it would jade him to being the amazing, kind, giving person he always has been.  Just a month later, he was in the kitchen late at night cooking up a huge feast out of his own heart for his coworkers.  While I don't think the event changed Aaron's generosity in the end, I know it definitely made us different.  When you've lived with roommates and you've tried to help them for as long as you can remember, having to tell them to leave and suddenly living on your own and only worry about you, even as a couple, changes you.

I think the changes have been for the better.

Here's the chart:

If I could have, I would have put this at 100%.  I'm extremely happy with our marriage, but I never want to become complacent.  There's always something we could do here.

We've been very good about doing a monthly date night, but I definitely see one goal here from last year that we just couldn't get the hang of.

Weekly Walks

The way mine and Aaron's life works, we don't always have a lot of time for each other.  He works Monday through Friday, but his job has him there for 12-14 hours a day and getting calls all throughout the night.  My job's most common hours are evenings, Fridays and weekends, which means we're often ships passing in the night.  Eating dinner together usually means stuffing our faces as fast as we can in order to get to the next project.  If we tried to get dinner together daily, or even weekly, it would almost have to be fast food.  With my diet, that's a no.  And breakfast?  Aaron has to be at work at 6:30 am, which means he's up at 5.  Sometimes, because he's gotten a call, he's up and out even earlier than that.  I've been getting up early, but I don't think I'm quite ready for 5 am.

But there is one thing we can guarantee: The dog will need a walk every day.  And our dog, Artie, is definitely ours.  We share all the responsibilities he entails.  Sometimes I take him to the groomer, and sometimes Aaron does.  Sometimes I'm getting his yearly shots and sometimes that's Aaron.  As far as walking's concerned, we have him on a strict schedule of 7 am, 3 pm, 6 pm and 10 pm, so it really just depends on who's available when.  Walking him is definitely a shared responsibility.

In addition, Aaron's health scare last year has made him want to get on top of things.  So if we did something to spend time together, I would want it to be a physical activity to help his health.

As long as we can grab one walks together a week, I'll be satisfied.  It'll give us a chance to catch up about our day (or sometimes our week), as well as fulfill a little much needed exercise.  Plus, we have four chances a day.  And if we really can't find one of those four over seven days, nothing's stopping us from walking him at a non-scheduled time.  It's much more flexible for our lifestyle!

Relationship Goals - 0% Complete for the month.
(Pictures and some notes on this month's progress)

Weekly walks [x/4 weeks in a month]. – 0% complete.

Coming up:
2016 Spiritual Goals

To my audience:
What are your relationship goals for 2016?


  1. I admire your relationship goals. Having the same goals as your husband makes life more easy and meaningful. You don't have to deal with two different stuff all the time because you understand each other. Just like the stories that I read from find thesis writing service online which are really inspiring and amazing.

  2. Most people will tell you that the ideal relationship exists. That is only true per couple. What has worked for others may not be suitable for you. hector